Random Acts of Friday: Sickity Doo Dah

And by Doo Dah, I mean doo doo.

Why is that the times when you're sick are also the times when you get the most bowelular grumpies? You would think that your body would figure it out: "Hey, every time I stand up, I want to pass out. Maybe I should turn the juice down on the ol' processing plant downstairs." But no, the reverse seems to be true. "Hey, things are going nuts! Let's see how many times we can get this poor guy to stagger into the bathroom for the world's most urgent, but least productive job ever!"

Stupid bowels. Maybe we should all get astronaut toilets installed in our beds for when we're sick.

Come to think of it, that would be pretty handy for those times in the middle of the night when you're dead tired but can't sleep because you have to pee. You know, the times when you can't quite convince yourself to get out of bed, and you keep hoping that you can ignore your swelling bladder long enough to fall back to sleep, but every time you get close, the fear of waking up in a puddle stops you, so eventually you stagger out of bed and get it over with.

Those are almost as bad as waking up half an hour before your alarm because you have to pee, and knowing that if you could just fall back to sleep, you would be fine until the alarm goes off, but if you get up and get it over with, you'll never get back to sleep and you'll miss out on those last thirty blissful, dopamine-drenched minutes.