Random Acts of Monday: Crusty, just the way I like 'em

Boogers.

Few things have quite the same potential for grossness, satisfaction, and entertainment as the little greenish nose nuggets. Farts might be one of them. But we're talking about boogers right now.

Most people who are honest and who are not incredibly over-socialized will admit to the joy of picking one's nose. The feeling of at last being able to breathe clearly. The satisfaction of dislodging a booger that has been encroaching on your nasal passages for the past week. It's almost as good as sneezing.

I discovered this weekend that, if you have the right person in mind, picking someone else's nose can be almost as satisfying. Take, for example, a one-and-a-half-year-old who has no concept of clear nostrils, and who has had a cold for a while. A rather patient one-and-a-half-year-old at that, who will, for the most part, hold still and let you decrust his nose in line at the Little Caesar's. It feels like I must have removed a pound and a half of crust from his nostrils, which helped pass the time waiting rather well.

Just don't eat what you find. And beware of balrogs.