Braindead Thursday: The Urinal Chat

Most guys instinctively know about Urinal Etiquette:

1. You never talk to another man when he's peeing
   
2. If you do, it is limitted to such things as, "Hey," or, "How's it going,"* (Note:NEVER "How's it hanging?") or, "What's up."*
   
3. If you for some reason feel the need to carry on something approaching an actual conversation, you do not - under any circumstances - look at the other person while you are both standing there "hangin' out".
   
4. These rules apply doubly for anyone who is in a stall. The walls are there for a reason.
   

Now, sometimes these rules can be broken or bent a little bit if the person standing next to you is a close acquaintance (family member, child's god-parent, next of kin, etc.), or someone with whom you were already carrying on a conversation when you entered the restroom. Say, for example, a co-worker when you are both on the way back from a meeting.

But occasionally, one encouters that strange gentleman (at least we will assume he is usually considered a gentleman, for the sake of charity) who apparently grew up in another country, and will feel the need not only to converse over a nice pee, but will do it with full testic-- er...gesticulation, and while attempting to maintain eye contact.

I ask you, what is a polite fellow to do in a situation like that?

* Note that these are statements, not questions.